Thursday, January 20, 2011

I'm still here...

Haven't had time to write, or really felt compelled to write, in a very long time. However, something has been on my mind lately that I felt I needed to get down. That is, how much weight loss has taught me about patience.

In my life, everything is structured. I realized that I basically have my life down in 30 min - 1 hour increments. It's sad, and I haven't been able to shake the panicked, rushed feeling since school started back up after Christmas. We, as consumers, people of my generation, people of the US, etc., have become accustomed to getting things fast. Fast food, Netflix instant downloading, Google searches downloaded in seconds. However, when fast leaves you with the unsettling feeling that you're missing something, is it really all that worth it? When I ate fast food, all I got was an upset tummy and extra baggage on my body. When I'm glancing at my watch at family dinners, worrying if there's somewhere else to be, I'm missing out on the joy of the experience of being with my family. When I am so focused on the future, I am completely missing out on the preciousness of the present.

Tuesday, I ran for 30 minutes. That was the first time I have ever ran that long, or far, in my entire life. And I remember feeling, almost to the point of tears, so very grateful that my legs can carry me through these runs. Grateful for a healthy diet that allows my body to be strong. So, so very grateful for a decision to be healthier made almost one year ago today that changed my life.

So I've only lost 40 pounds and the scale hasn't moved since September. So what? Yes, 3/4 months. I realize how long ago that was. However, there IS growth. My body is losing inches, I know I'm in the best shape of my life, and I am fitting into the smallest clothes I can remember. Although I've never pushed my healthier lifestyle on them, my excitement for this new way of living has convinced some of my family and friends to be inspired to put their health back on their priority list, which is a wonderful accomplishment in itself. The drive is still there, and if it takes another year to lose the remaining 40 pounds, that's ok. Because, if I hadn't started this journey a year ago, where would I be? Still unhappy with my body and 40 pounds (or more) heavier. Just for kicks, I would like to publish a couple photos...

Taken November 2009.

Taken this past NYE.

Definitely growth.

So I will be still (mentally, of course) and recognize the preciousness of the present. While looking towards the end result of an even happier, healthier me that I know is in my future. Stay tuned.


  1. Hey there....I just wanted to say thanks so much for your support over at my blog today. It's hard to put it out there, you know?

    It's like I know he loves me and that he's happy. But I don't get what is missing...I just can't understand that I guess.

    It feels good to know that at least someone else read what I wrote and could identify with at least some of it.

    Thank you.

    So very, very, much.

  2. Girl, you are lookin' awesome!!!!
    Totally agree- you definitely can't just look @ the scale & remember muscle weighs more than fat. I know it's hard to remember that sometimes..but it is true :)