Thursday, May 27, 2010

Best days of your life...

'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad you've already had the best days, the best days of your life...

Ok, first of all, no judgment please. Yes, I know this is sung by Kellie Pickler, who made it to the top 10 on that little-known show called American Idol. Yes, I realize she is a stereotype. For those unfamiliar with her, she's blonde, bubbly, and was credited as being pitchy during her stint on AI. However, with all of that said, I love this song. I recently loaded some new workout music on my iPhone, and I guess I accidentally loaded that song on my playlist as well. As I'm cursing each step I take on the Stairmaster this morning at the gym (I believe this machine was designed with the sole purpose of torture for its users, by the way), the bubbly song "Best Days of Your Life" came on and took me by surprise. Wait, this is not my normal pseudo-hip-hop that lurks in the workout playlists!! But it completely revved me up to finish those last five minutes! God bless you, Kellie Pickler.

It also got me thinking. In this song, she's a woman scorned, boyfriend cheated, yadda yadda. When thinking about my own relationships and especially the most recent one, I do remember that I was happy...for the most part. And, the one thing I did learn from my first "serious" relationship was how to live in the moment. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a planner. I plan my days far, far in advance. I have my Outlook calendar at work and my social calendar on my iPhone (I should really sync those up...might help). My life is broken down usually in about half-hour increments. Gym, shower, breakfast, get ready for work, work, work, work (it deserves more type you see...stupid thing I have to do to earn a living), possibly more gym, dinner, chores, social catching up and what-not, and bed. (Side note - attorney time is billed in increments of 1/10. For those not good in math, that's 6 minutes! This means you have to account for every 6 minutes of your time spent in order to legally bill a client. Craziness. Blows my mind.) However, relationships just taught me to enjoy the moment without always wishing my life away or looking ahead. Enjoy that lazy Sunday in bed, take a few hours and watch some mindless TV. I never said those were the best days of my life, per se, because I believe there is always something bigger and better to come, but those were some good days. Days that I just enjoyed being. Life is too short not to enjoy those moments as they come.

Non-relationship speaking, there are days that I can close my eyes and be instantly taken back. The last good day I can really remember is my last family vacation. We made a halfway stop in Atlanta on our way to Myrtle Beach and got lost looking for a Wells Fargo ATM. Go figure. And, of course, I was driving. I will be the first to admit my family is loud. On a good day, you only have to raise your voice a little bit to be heard over the dog, the 6 year old, the teenagers and the ever-constant persistent voice of Spongebob on the tube. However, that Atlanta day was perfect. On top of getting lost. And being in a strange city. There were no timelines, no phone calls and it was a beautiful sunny day. Our family chuckled, giggled, guffawed and every other synonym out there for laughed. We made inside jokes, told outlandish stories, and in general grew a little bit closer as a family. I bring that day out for special occasions. That was a rare day in that I knew it was good as I was living it.

Label these days! Pull that mess out! My friends and I have a running joke about my "fabulous" hair. One day, I remarked offhandedly that I was having a "fabulous hair day" at a friend's wedding shower. In my defense, it was straight and bobbed and looking pretty fabulous ;o). Mind you, this was almost two years ago. To this day, I am still not able to live that down. I get Facebook messages, texts, etc. Eh, oh well. It's a great inside joke, and a reminder that it's ok to live in the moment sometime. If Miss Type-A planner (as my mama calls me) can, anyone can!

Including Kellie Pickler :o)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

heart? stylish? pfft...

Let me tell you, there is nothing scarier than sitting at the computer with a blank screen staring you in the face. Couple that with the forever flickering text line, and I could gaze aimlessly at the computer all day. Warning, warning! This does not equal good times in the whole productivity/I-should-be-working sort of thing.

However, I guess I shall explain the blog title. An ex-boyfriend used to call me "pretty pretty princess." And not in a good way. In the can't-leave-the-house-without-the-appropriate-outfit way. He was always teasing me about being too much in control, about worrying over the little things, worrying over first/last impressions, etc. Of course, now I see that he was an insecure jerk who really needed to be nicer to his then-current girlfriend, but that's always stuck with me. Because I don't see myself that way. Granted, after a bout in high school that I will refer to as the "frizzy days" (insecurity paired with frizzy hair and no idea of how to look put together), I have changed. I work at somewhere where I need to be presentable everyday. If not a suit, at least business casual. I put a lot of thought into how I am presented to others; I'm going to law school - it's kind of a necessary thing. I long ago befriended a hair straightener and my face has (finally) cleared up.

But that's just the physical aspect. College, heartbreak, my relationship with God, friendships beginning/ending, etc. have changed all of the inside stuff. I know I'm stronger than I was in high school. Not just physically-although my trainer at the gym would make me do extra squats for not throwing that in-but emotionally. Mentally. I've worked very hard for the foundation to my life, and I will fight to keep that foundation strong and healthy. I love deeply, and I give my all to relationships before throwing in the towel. I keep a fierce hold on my family and friends which mean the most to me. I've learned to let go of people who desired to be let go, and to stop trying to change people that sought to stay the same. Sometimes you do your best and it still comes up short. There will be days when you're late for work, you have a flat tire, you spill your water bottle all over the papers on your desk (this particular one happened to be me this morning). And sometimes, there are those moments which you will look back on for years to come, pull out when you are having a horrible day, and they will make you smile.

Anyway. Blog title, right. Did I mention I'm random and tend to go off into tangents? To me, having a stylish heart is doing everything 100%. Love fully. Take risks. Don't be afraid to do something that seems way out of your limits and comfort zone (hello! I will be entering law school this fall!) Never let a past failure dictate how you live your life (still working on this one). Accept your mistakes (this one too). Better yet, learn from them. Don't be afraid to be silly, ask questions, cry, wallow (a good wallow day can cure just about anything). Set goals, small and big. A stylish heart is 95% on the inside and 5% on the outside. (Because, let's be realistic. I do like to feel pretty every once in awhile.)

So, ex-boyfriend, here's looking at you. You can call me pretty pretty princess all you want. I've got the stylish heart to back it up.