Is it me, or does it seem like I'm hungry all the time? Since this morning, I had my protein shake, Cheerio's w/strawberries & skim, carrots with the 100 pack guacomole on the side, a Lean Cuisine Panini, a South Beach bar, and some string cheese. Just typing that is tough! And I will be eating again within the next hour. However, it's always crazy to add the calories up (hint: it's not as much as you think; maybe around 1000 or so). I've already lifted weights today, which takes off about 200 calories, and I'm going to spin after work, baby! The best part about spin class is the whole burning off 800 calories an hour thing ;o). It's all a numbers game. As long as my total caloric input/output is in the negative, I lose weight. Usually I aim at around 1,600 calories on a normal day, although my trainer says I can eat up to 2,000 with the amount of time I spend at the gym.
These days, a big motivator for me has been the number on the scale. Almost too much of a motivator. So I'm limiting my weigh-in's to weekly. Too much room for fluctuation throughout the day, and I want to see a steady decrease. My whole day will NOT be ruined by what I see on the scale!
On another note, I'm losing weight in the weirdest places. My wrists?? Fingers? And especially my cleavage. How can one lose almost half a cup-size in 6 months? Sad day. Although, I guess you can't tell your body where to lose weight. But, man! That would be nice. You could just type it in a computer and tell your body, "Ok, it's time to take all the weight off the tummy. Boobs stay an ample 'c', tummy goes flat." Wish it worked that way, but I'll take what I can get.
In case you haven't figured it out, I think this will be a weight-loss blog. It keeps me accountable, and lets me see the patterns in my bad eating/exercise habits. Oh, and regarding the sugar issue I was going to talk about that I mentioned in my previous post!!
Ok, so while I was semi-napping on the couch a few Sundays ago (my favorite Sunday activity, which is actually being replaced by my favorite summer activity, pool volleyball), a Pop-tart commercial came on the television. Oh, Pop-tarts. How I miss the way you pretend to be a breakfast meal even though you're basically a hardened piece of cake in a brightly colored box. The hard candied icing, the gooey cream inside. Yum. That would probably send me into a sugar coma nowadays, but a girl can dream. Anyway, the commercial. Kids on scooters, swimming in the pool, enjoying their summer activities, doing random summer-related things and...parents passing out a Pop-tart ice cream sandwich?!? No, I kid you not. Two Pop-tarts as the "bread," and a big ol' hunk of ice cream in the middle. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, POP-TART?? Do you realize that it's because of this type of marketing that the children of America are obese? I felt like getting up off the couch right there and drafting an angry letter to Pop-tart's parent corporation (Kellogg's? General Mills?? who knows) blasting them for their use of manipulative marketing schemes in order to sell their goods. I hate to compare the two, but it's a bit like the outrage when the Joe Camel company used brightly colored packaging to market their cancer-sticks to teenagers. Why is that not acceptable but Pop-tart can continue their television advertising? Of course cigarettes and nicotine is bad for you, but sugar can be just as harmful. Over intake of sugar causes diabetes, obesity, there have been links to certain types of cancer...the list goes on and on. Sugar is fine in moderation, but this type of marketing makes kids think this is okay. Hey, Pop-tart commercials say, this is an everyday type of breakfast food. That moms approve of. Kids like them. And they're easy to dish out. But it doesn't mention the broader issue that anything that chock-full of sugar (around 70 grams per two Pop-tarts) should not be something you eat daily, especially to kick off your day. And commercials telling you otherwise are fraudulent and misleading. *stepping off soapbox*
On that note, it's snack time. ;o)
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I'm NOT dieting!!
Ok, haven't mentioned it yet because I'm not sure that I want to turn this into a weight loss blog. However, weight loss/healthy eating has become a large part of my life, and didn't want to just ignore something that I deal with everyday.
I've never been the skinniest person. I've never considered myself thin. I'm always the bridesmaid that secretly is wondering what size she'll have to wear for her bridesmaid dress...or, worse...if the dress even comes in her size. Although the pool doesn't bother me that much, there is more than your normal amount of self-consciousness that accompanies me whenever I trot down there in a swimsuit.
I've always considered myself the fat girl. Stationary, unchanging. I thought I would always be "that" girl. The girl that's the biggest among her group of friends. The one that can't swap clothes or borrow them from her girlfriends because they don't fit. Yes, I realize everyone's bodies are different and women come in all different sizes. Still. I'm sure the woman reading this blog (if anyone is??) understand where I'm coming from.
However, something clicked for me at the beginning of this year. I think it came from a few different things. 1) I'm about to start law school. A fresh start in all sense of the phrase. 2) I'm (finally) moving on from the past two relationships that have followed me around for a better portion of the past year. No more crying, no more what if's. No more thinking I'm not good enough. 3) I have a crazy-fit roommate that keeps me accountable.
Due to all three of those things, I finally just sucked it up and said the scary words. I want to be thin. I want to be strong. I want to be able to run 3 miles and not be out of breath (training for a 5k this fall). I want to look normal when my picture is taken with a group of friends. I want to feel healthy, have energy and stop feeling so tired all the time. So, I finally committed to it. Joined the gym, got a trainer, and started shaping up my eating. And...
It's not so hard. Shh, don't tell anyone I let you in on the secret. It was hard at first. The cravings came like crazy and I, a self-proclaimed sweet-aholic, took my time in learning to resist the urge to have a piece of cake. Or stop by McDonald's on the way home for dinner. Or get out of bed and hit the gym in the morning when all I want to do is hit the snooze button on my iPhone and fall back into glorious slumber.
Fast-forward about 5 months later. My entire outlook on eating, exercise - actually, my life - has changed. Instead of allowing eating to compensate or make me "feel better" about something (I am/was a big-time emotional eater), I look at food as a way to fuel my body and allow me to do other fun, non food-related things. Food is not evil. Food gives you energy and helps your body to survive. That's all you need it for. Granted, there are some times that I want (and have) things that I know will make me feel sluggish, or greasy, or just crappy in general. And I call these meals 'cheat meals.' Totally normal to indulge every once in awhile. This outlook takes you from the "diet" mentality to the "lifestyle" mentality. This healthy eating thing won't stop when I reach my goal size. I'm in it for life.
As for exercise, it's still hard to get out of bed in the mornings and do my weight training or cardio, depending on the day. However, instead of calling this day a wash and telling myself I'll start all over tomorrow (while stuffing my face with bad food), I know that I always can make time after work to go to the gym. The gym is the place I go to when I feel stressed, or sluggish. People know me there, from seeing my sweaty face all the time. I have a group that I feel accountable to. My roommate, my trainer, girls I exercise with and, most importantly, myself. These people all count on me to make good exercise choices. Plus, exercise is fun! Well, some exercise is torture, but you cannot beat the high that you feel when it's over and you're all sweaty and you know a shower awaits you. However, I genuinely look forward to exercising after work now. It's nice to know there's a place I can go where I plug in my headphones, don't have to answer to anyone, and can just scoot it out on the treadmill/crosstrainer/stairmaster (depending on the day). It's a nice transition from work to home, and I love it.
And, if you want to "cut-to-the-chase," as people say, I've lost weight. Enough to know I'm finally, FINALLY doing something right.
I feel bad for neglecting this portion of the blog post. My original intent was to talk about the prevalence of sugar and the marketing of it in our culture. But the back story is so important!! There must be a part 'a' before there's a 'b'. And I probably should get off the computer and go live my actual life now. ;o)
Part 2 to follow.
I've never been the skinniest person. I've never considered myself thin. I'm always the bridesmaid that secretly is wondering what size she'll have to wear for her bridesmaid dress...or, worse...if the dress even comes in her size. Although the pool doesn't bother me that much, there is more than your normal amount of self-consciousness that accompanies me whenever I trot down there in a swimsuit.
I've always considered myself the fat girl. Stationary, unchanging. I thought I would always be "that" girl. The girl that's the biggest among her group of friends. The one that can't swap clothes or borrow them from her girlfriends because they don't fit. Yes, I realize everyone's bodies are different and women come in all different sizes. Still. I'm sure the woman reading this blog (if anyone is??) understand where I'm coming from.
However, something clicked for me at the beginning of this year. I think it came from a few different things. 1) I'm about to start law school. A fresh start in all sense of the phrase. 2) I'm (finally) moving on from the past two relationships that have followed me around for a better portion of the past year. No more crying, no more what if's. No more thinking I'm not good enough. 3) I have a crazy-fit roommate that keeps me accountable.
Due to all three of those things, I finally just sucked it up and said the scary words. I want to be thin. I want to be strong. I want to be able to run 3 miles and not be out of breath (training for a 5k this fall). I want to look normal when my picture is taken with a group of friends. I want to feel healthy, have energy and stop feeling so tired all the time. So, I finally committed to it. Joined the gym, got a trainer, and started shaping up my eating. And...
It's not so hard. Shh, don't tell anyone I let you in on the secret. It was hard at first. The cravings came like crazy and I, a self-proclaimed sweet-aholic, took my time in learning to resist the urge to have a piece of cake. Or stop by McDonald's on the way home for dinner. Or get out of bed and hit the gym in the morning when all I want to do is hit the snooze button on my iPhone and fall back into glorious slumber.
Fast-forward about 5 months later. My entire outlook on eating, exercise - actually, my life - has changed. Instead of allowing eating to compensate or make me "feel better" about something (I am/was a big-time emotional eater), I look at food as a way to fuel my body and allow me to do other fun, non food-related things. Food is not evil. Food gives you energy and helps your body to survive. That's all you need it for. Granted, there are some times that I want (and have) things that I know will make me feel sluggish, or greasy, or just crappy in general. And I call these meals 'cheat meals.' Totally normal to indulge every once in awhile. This outlook takes you from the "diet" mentality to the "lifestyle" mentality. This healthy eating thing won't stop when I reach my goal size. I'm in it for life.
As for exercise, it's still hard to get out of bed in the mornings and do my weight training or cardio, depending on the day. However, instead of calling this day a wash and telling myself I'll start all over tomorrow (while stuffing my face with bad food), I know that I always can make time after work to go to the gym. The gym is the place I go to when I feel stressed, or sluggish. People know me there, from seeing my sweaty face all the time. I have a group that I feel accountable to. My roommate, my trainer, girls I exercise with and, most importantly, myself. These people all count on me to make good exercise choices. Plus, exercise is fun! Well, some exercise is torture, but you cannot beat the high that you feel when it's over and you're all sweaty and you know a shower awaits you. However, I genuinely look forward to exercising after work now. It's nice to know there's a place I can go where I plug in my headphones, don't have to answer to anyone, and can just scoot it out on the treadmill/crosstrainer/stairmaster (depending on the day). It's a nice transition from work to home, and I love it.
And, if you want to "cut-to-the-chase," as people say, I've lost weight. Enough to know I'm finally, FINALLY doing something right.
I feel bad for neglecting this portion of the blog post. My original intent was to talk about the prevalence of sugar and the marketing of it in our culture. But the back story is so important!! There must be a part 'a' before there's a 'b'. And I probably should get off the computer and go live my actual life now. ;o)
Part 2 to follow.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Best days of your life...
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad you've already had the best days, the best days of your life...
Ok, first of all, no judgment please. Yes, I know this is sung by Kellie Pickler, who made it to the top 10 on that little-known show called American Idol. Yes, I realize she is a stereotype. For those unfamiliar with her, she's blonde, bubbly, and was credited as being pitchy during her stint on AI. However, with all of that said, I love this song. I recently loaded some new workout music on my iPhone, and I guess I accidentally loaded that song on my playlist as well. As I'm cursing each step I take on the Stairmaster this morning at the gym (I believe this machine was designed with the sole purpose of torture for its users, by the way), the bubbly song "Best Days of Your Life" came on and took me by surprise. Wait, this is not my normal pseudo-hip-hop that lurks in the workout playlists!! But it completely revved me up to finish those last five minutes! God bless you, Kellie Pickler.
It also got me thinking. In this song, she's a woman scorned, boyfriend cheated, yadda yadda. When thinking about my own relationships and especially the most recent one, I do remember that I was happy...for the most part. And, the one thing I did learn from my first "serious" relationship was how to live in the moment. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a planner. I plan my days far, far in advance. I have my Outlook calendar at work and my social calendar on my iPhone (I should really sync those up...might help). My life is broken down usually in about half-hour increments. Gym, shower, breakfast, get ready for work, work, work, work (it deserves more type you see...stupid thing I have to do to earn a living), possibly more gym, dinner, chores, social catching up and what-not, and bed. (Side note - attorney time is billed in increments of 1/10. For those not good in math, that's 6 minutes! This means you have to account for every 6 minutes of your time spent in order to legally bill a client. Craziness. Blows my mind.) However, relationships just taught me to enjoy the moment without always wishing my life away or looking ahead. Enjoy that lazy Sunday in bed, take a few hours and watch some mindless TV. I never said those were the best days of my life, per se, because I believe there is always something bigger and better to come, but those were some good days. Days that I just enjoyed being. Life is too short not to enjoy those moments as they come.
Non-relationship speaking, there are days that I can close my eyes and be instantly taken back. The last good day I can really remember is my last family vacation. We made a halfway stop in Atlanta on our way to Myrtle Beach and got lost looking for a Wells Fargo ATM. Go figure. And, of course, I was driving. I will be the first to admit my family is loud. On a good day, you only have to raise your voice a little bit to be heard over the dog, the 6 year old, the teenagers and the ever-constant persistent voice of Spongebob on the tube. However, that Atlanta day was perfect. On top of getting lost. And being in a strange city. There were no timelines, no phone calls and it was a beautiful sunny day. Our family chuckled, giggled, guffawed and every other synonym out there for laughed. We made inside jokes, told outlandish stories, and in general grew a little bit closer as a family. I bring that day out for special occasions. That was a rare day in that I knew it was good as I was living it.
Label these days! Pull that mess out! My friends and I have a running joke about my "fabulous" hair. One day, I remarked offhandedly that I was having a "fabulous hair day" at a friend's wedding shower. In my defense, it was straight and bobbed and looking pretty fabulous ;o). Mind you, this was almost two years ago. To this day, I am still not able to live that down. I get Facebook messages, texts, etc. Eh, oh well. It's a great inside joke, and a reminder that it's ok to live in the moment sometime. If Miss Type-A planner (as my mama calls me) can, anyone can!
Including Kellie Pickler :o)
Ok, first of all, no judgment please. Yes, I know this is sung by Kellie Pickler, who made it to the top 10 on that little-known show called American Idol. Yes, I realize she is a stereotype. For those unfamiliar with her, she's blonde, bubbly, and was credited as being pitchy during her stint on AI. However, with all of that said, I love this song. I recently loaded some new workout music on my iPhone, and I guess I accidentally loaded that song on my playlist as well. As I'm cursing each step I take on the Stairmaster this morning at the gym (I believe this machine was designed with the sole purpose of torture for its users, by the way), the bubbly song "Best Days of Your Life" came on and took me by surprise. Wait, this is not my normal pseudo-hip-hop that lurks in the workout playlists!! But it completely revved me up to finish those last five minutes! God bless you, Kellie Pickler.
It also got me thinking. In this song, she's a woman scorned, boyfriend cheated, yadda yadda. When thinking about my own relationships and especially the most recent one, I do remember that I was happy...for the most part. And, the one thing I did learn from my first "serious" relationship was how to live in the moment. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a planner. I plan my days far, far in advance. I have my Outlook calendar at work and my social calendar on my iPhone (I should really sync those up...might help). My life is broken down usually in about half-hour increments. Gym, shower, breakfast, get ready for work, work, work, work (it deserves more type you see...stupid thing I have to do to earn a living), possibly more gym, dinner, chores, social catching up and what-not, and bed. (Side note - attorney time is billed in increments of 1/10. For those not good in math, that's 6 minutes! This means you have to account for every 6 minutes of your time spent in order to legally bill a client. Craziness. Blows my mind.) However, relationships just taught me to enjoy the moment without always wishing my life away or looking ahead. Enjoy that lazy Sunday in bed, take a few hours and watch some mindless TV. I never said those were the best days of my life, per se, because I believe there is always something bigger and better to come, but those were some good days. Days that I just enjoyed being. Life is too short not to enjoy those moments as they come.
Non-relationship speaking, there are days that I can close my eyes and be instantly taken back. The last good day I can really remember is my last family vacation. We made a halfway stop in Atlanta on our way to Myrtle Beach and got lost looking for a Wells Fargo ATM. Go figure. And, of course, I was driving. I will be the first to admit my family is loud. On a good day, you only have to raise your voice a little bit to be heard over the dog, the 6 year old, the teenagers and the ever-constant persistent voice of Spongebob on the tube. However, that Atlanta day was perfect. On top of getting lost. And being in a strange city. There were no timelines, no phone calls and it was a beautiful sunny day. Our family chuckled, giggled, guffawed and every other synonym out there for laughed. We made inside jokes, told outlandish stories, and in general grew a little bit closer as a family. I bring that day out for special occasions. That was a rare day in that I knew it was good as I was living it.
Label these days! Pull that mess out! My friends and I have a running joke about my "fabulous" hair. One day, I remarked offhandedly that I was having a "fabulous hair day" at a friend's wedding shower. In my defense, it was straight and bobbed and looking pretty fabulous ;o). Mind you, this was almost two years ago. To this day, I am still not able to live that down. I get Facebook messages, texts, etc. Eh, oh well. It's a great inside joke, and a reminder that it's ok to live in the moment sometime. If Miss Type-A planner (as my mama calls me) can, anyone can!
Including Kellie Pickler :o)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
heart? stylish? pfft...
Let me tell you, there is nothing scarier than sitting at the computer with a blank screen staring you in the face. Couple that with the forever flickering text line, and I could gaze aimlessly at the computer all day. Warning, warning! This does not equal good times in the whole productivity/I-should-be-working sort of thing.
However, I guess I shall explain the blog title. An ex-boyfriend used to call me "pretty pretty princess." And not in a good way. In the can't-leave-the-house-without-the-appropriate-outfit way. He was always teasing me about being too much in control, about worrying over the little things, worrying over first/last impressions, etc. Of course, now I see that he was an insecure jerk who really needed to be nicer to his then-current girlfriend, but that's always stuck with me. Because I don't see myself that way. Granted, after a bout in high school that I will refer to as the "frizzy days" (insecurity paired with frizzy hair and no idea of how to look put together), I have changed. I work at somewhere where I need to be presentable everyday. If not a suit, at least business casual. I put a lot of thought into how I am presented to others; I'm going to law school - it's kind of a necessary thing. I long ago befriended a hair straightener and my face has (finally) cleared up.
But that's just the physical aspect. College, heartbreak, my relationship with God, friendships beginning/ending, etc. have changed all of the inside stuff. I know I'm stronger than I was in high school. Not just physically-although my trainer at the gym would make me do extra squats for not throwing that in-but emotionally. Mentally. I've worked very hard for the foundation to my life, and I will fight to keep that foundation strong and healthy. I love deeply, and I give my all to relationships before throwing in the towel. I keep a fierce hold on my family and friends which mean the most to me. I've learned to let go of people who desired to be let go, and to stop trying to change people that sought to stay the same. Sometimes you do your best and it still comes up short. There will be days when you're late for work, you have a flat tire, you spill your water bottle all over the papers on your desk (this particular one happened to be me this morning). And sometimes, there are those moments which you will look back on for years to come, pull out when you are having a horrible day, and they will make you smile.
Anyway. Blog title, right. Did I mention I'm random and tend to go off into tangents? To me, having a stylish heart is doing everything 100%. Love fully. Take risks. Don't be afraid to do something that seems way out of your limits and comfort zone (hello! I will be entering law school this fall!) Never let a past failure dictate how you live your life (still working on this one). Accept your mistakes (this one too). Better yet, learn from them. Don't be afraid to be silly, ask questions, cry, wallow (a good wallow day can cure just about anything). Set goals, small and big. A stylish heart is 95% on the inside and 5% on the outside. (Because, let's be realistic. I do like to feel pretty every once in awhile.)
So, ex-boyfriend, here's looking at you. You can call me pretty pretty princess all you want. I've got the stylish heart to back it up.
However, I guess I shall explain the blog title. An ex-boyfriend used to call me "pretty pretty princess." And not in a good way. In the can't-leave-the-house-without-the-appropriate-outfit way. He was always teasing me about being too much in control, about worrying over the little things, worrying over first/last impressions, etc. Of course, now I see that he was an insecure jerk who really needed to be nicer to his then-current girlfriend, but that's always stuck with me. Because I don't see myself that way. Granted, after a bout in high school that I will refer to as the "frizzy days" (insecurity paired with frizzy hair and no idea of how to look put together), I have changed. I work at somewhere where I need to be presentable everyday. If not a suit, at least business casual. I put a lot of thought into how I am presented to others; I'm going to law school - it's kind of a necessary thing. I long ago befriended a hair straightener and my face has (finally) cleared up.
But that's just the physical aspect. College, heartbreak, my relationship with God, friendships beginning/ending, etc. have changed all of the inside stuff. I know I'm stronger than I was in high school. Not just physically-although my trainer at the gym would make me do extra squats for not throwing that in-but emotionally. Mentally. I've worked very hard for the foundation to my life, and I will fight to keep that foundation strong and healthy. I love deeply, and I give my all to relationships before throwing in the towel. I keep a fierce hold on my family and friends which mean the most to me. I've learned to let go of people who desired to be let go, and to stop trying to change people that sought to stay the same. Sometimes you do your best and it still comes up short. There will be days when you're late for work, you have a flat tire, you spill your water bottle all over the papers on your desk (this particular one happened to be me this morning). And sometimes, there are those moments which you will look back on for years to come, pull out when you are having a horrible day, and they will make you smile.
Anyway. Blog title, right. Did I mention I'm random and tend to go off into tangents? To me, having a stylish heart is doing everything 100%. Love fully. Take risks. Don't be afraid to do something that seems way out of your limits and comfort zone (hello! I will be entering law school this fall!) Never let a past failure dictate how you live your life (still working on this one). Accept your mistakes (this one too). Better yet, learn from them. Don't be afraid to be silly, ask questions, cry, wallow (a good wallow day can cure just about anything). Set goals, small and big. A stylish heart is 95% on the inside and 5% on the outside. (Because, let's be realistic. I do like to feel pretty every once in awhile.)
So, ex-boyfriend, here's looking at you. You can call me pretty pretty princess all you want. I've got the stylish heart to back it up.
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